Movement

Movement can now be seen on the outside of my tummy. If you very carefully look at the left side of my belly, you can see the baby bump out. You can also listen to my mother talking about nuns. The movement was, at times that I didn't catch on video, much more dramatic.

Baby Dream

Last night, I dreamed that I went into labor. Labor was very short and my mother ended up delivering the baby on a bed. The bed had white sheets and I was concerned that they would get dirty. I was also concerned that I wouldn't get to teach winter term at all.

The baby was very small (what with not being due till the end of March), but active. It was very important that he eat as much as possible, so the end of the dream focused on nursing the baby. The baby was definitely a boy.

Dreams

Mike commented to me that I hadn't posted any dreams recently. It's not that I haven't had them, it's just that I haven't gotten around to posting them. Also, there haven't been any that were particularly interesting.

For example, last night I dreamed in great detail about this lentil dish that I wanted to eat in the dream. There were many different items that got added to the lentils and I had to go around to various locations to try to find them. I never did manage to find the black beans.

Car Seat

My dad came up today to help us clean out the back yard. And by that, I mean he and my uncle cleaned out the back yard, I did laundry and such, and Mike puttered about. The back yard looks excellent.

He also brought us our Christmas present (in addition to cleaning the back yard). I'd picked out the car seat I wanted online and put it on my amazon baby registry.

Car seats are more complicated than I had imagined. It came with a 40-page instruction manual. There are lots of different adjustable pieces and straps all over the place.

I must be pregnant...

A lady asked me in a clothing store today if I knew where the maternity section was. She said I looked like I was expecting.

Cord Cutting

Mike found this article about cutting the umbilical cord. It's got cool pictures of what a cord looks like right after birth,

several minutes later,

then 15 minutes later after the blood has stopped pulsing through it.

That's a pretty major difference!

Musical Baby

Mike decided to play music for the tiny squee last night. I'm not sure whether flopping about means that it was enjoying the music and dancing, or not enjoying it and trying to get away... but here are the reviews so far:

Beatles: no real response.
Barenaked Ladies: much flopping to one song (with a strong beat), not so much to a second.
Phantom of the Opera: some flopping. Obviously it's a musical theater baby, but would prefer a show with a somewhat faster beat.

Squirrel dream

I'd meant to post about this dream yesterday when I had it, but I never got around to it. Mike and I, as well as some other undefined people, were at an event. It was outside on a large grassy lawn. Someone remembered that they were giving away free beer. They had Budweiser, Sam Adams and one other kind, so we needed to hurry so we wouldn't be stuck drinking Budweiser. We started sliding across the lawn on our stomachs, which everyone else was doing so it was obviously the generally accepted travel method. We turned a corner and started down a hill, picking up speed. There were jumps that we went over (mostly logs and bumps in the grass). Near the logs and in the taller grass there were bunches of ground squirrels, looking very much like this California Ground Squirrel (I actually identified them as such in the dream).

I'm actually pregnant.

Today, one of the people I work with asked me if I was pregnant. This is the first person to actually ask. I think other people must suspect (since one of my department chairs said I was showing 6 weeks ago), but this is the first person who actually asked.

The funny thing is that my doctor mentioned the "Dave Barry" rule for asking about pregnancy this morning at our appointment: if you don't see a baby actually emerging, don't ask a woman if she's pregnant. My coworker said I was getting bigger "just in the tummy" so she suspected. It was actually kind of nice to be asked.

Nothing too exciting to report regarding this morning's doctor's appointment. Baby is measuring small and has apparently been measuring small the whole time. That lines up with my view of the situation - I don't feel like I look that pregnant compared to other women who are equally pregnant. I'm sure the tiny squee will catch up on growth later on. Baby's heartbeat seemed sort of variable. Dr Liz said that baby didn't like me laying down. I wonder if it's because it cuts off circulation. Supposedly the weight of the baby can press on the vena cava and inhibit blood flow somewhat. I had found myself sleeping on my back sometimes (mostly to save my hips from hurting), but it's getting pretty uncomfortable to do that.

I've solved the hip pain when sleeping problem (at least for the time being). If I put a pillow between my legs, I can sleep pain-free through most of the night. I usually wake up once (to pee), then flip over to the other side for most of the rest of the night. It's been much better the past few nights that I've done that. I must be sleeping pretty well because when I wake up, I'm still in the same position that I started.

Trouble sleeping again

It seems like the biggest part of being pregnant involves sleep: either too much or too little. Last night was a too little night.

The first part of the night wasn't too bad. I had a dream about being in Japan with Lacey in her weird open-courtyard apartment. It was completely pouring down rain.

Then, I woke up. My hips were really sore, to the point where I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. My left side, where I normally sleep, was really sore from having been slept on all night. When I turned onto my right side, that side started hurting along with my left hip. Laying on my back, which is how I used to escape from the hip pain, has become pretty uncomfortable. When I'd finally find a more-or-less comfortable position, the tiny squee would start flopping about. Apparently baby was disgruntled about me tossing and turning.

I went for a really good walk yesterday with my pregnant lady friend. We walked up and all around Mt Tabor. We walked and chatted for about 2 hours. I didn't feel too sore yesterday, but maybe it hit me in the hips last night.

I headed to prenatal yoga this morning. I was hoping it would help with the hip pain. What with the walk and the yoga, my legs are a little stiff and sore this evening. The yoga was really nice, though. Very relaxing. The tiny squee started bopping about as we were relaxing at the end.

One of my favorite parts of yoga is looking at what all the other pregnant ladies look like. There's a big range between least pregnant and most pregnant. Most people seem to be in week 30+, but one woman was only 14 weeks today. I don't look very pregnant at all compared to the majority. I didn't really look that pregnant compared to the other two ladies who were 24-ish weeks. It will be nice to check in with Dr Liz next week and make sure baby is measuring the appropriate size.

Nothing new and exciting to report.

Things are pretty much progressing on the same trajectory that they were before. I'm tired, I eat more than I used to, and I'm getting bigger. I looked at myself in the mirror at work today and I look a lot more pregnant than I did before. Someday soon I might actually have to start wearing maternity tops. I'm not sure I'm actually fooling my students any more... but maybe they just think I've gained weight because of the holidays.

I can't imagine being pregnant and already having one kid. I spend so much of my day tired that it would be like hell to have to stay active and chasing after a little person. I totally think only having one is the way to go.

Hunger and flip-flopping

The tiny squee continues to make me hungry five (or 10) times a day. I'm trying to ration its supply of sweets and convince it that squash and apples are just as tasty. I'm not sure that it's working. I just really want sweet things. Or salty with lots of fat (Cheetos, anyone?).

There's tons of activity going on in my midsection, too. Baby seems to be testing out a variety of different positions. For several days there was a lot of banging on the bottom parts. I think baby was jumping up and down on my cervix to see if it was closed securely (it was). Then, the poking and prodding shifted over to my left side. This morning, baby seems to be laying on its back and poking its toes upwards. It's totally unpredictable and still a slightly disconcerting sensation.

I'm trying to make it through the end of this term with my regular clothing before switching into maternity tops full-time. Maybe I'd feel differently if it was summer and I was wearing thinner tops, but most of my sweaters are stretchy enough to still fit. I think I may have overestimated the amount of maternity clothes I would actually need. I should have held off on buying stuff until I actually didn't fit into my other clothes. I don't feel like I'm really big enough to wear most of what I've gotten without looking kind of silly. I need to sort through what I have and see what I'll actually wear. During winter break, I may end up trying to sell (or take to Goodwill) some of the stuff I really won't ever wear.

Starrrrrving.

This tiny squee refuses to be satisfied by apple slices, a string cheese, and tea this morning. And this after I already gave it oatmeal with raisins, canned plums, and banana for breakfast!

Yoga class!

I went to my first yoga class today at Yoga Shala. It starts at 10:30, which is a fabulous time. It means I can sleep in and still make it to the class. It ends at noon, so there's enough time left in the day to get stuff done afterwards (if I were tempted to actually do things).

One of the things that the lady who taught the class talked about was community. It was really neat to see all the other pregnant ladies there. There were probably 20 women in various stages of pregnancy. I was a little worried walking in that I was going to be the only person who wasn't in my third trimester... maybe most pregnant ladies go to regular yoga classes until they get really big? But that wasn't true. At the start of the class, we all introduced ourselves and said how pregnant we were and then anything else we wanted to say. The woman who was the least pregnant was 13 weeks and the woman who was the most pregnant was 39.5 weeks. I was right across from her. She looked really tired. I'm hoping to make a few pregnant-lady friends through the class.

It was a good class. There's a lot of stretching of the legs and hips, which is good because mine are always really tight. We talked about pushing through and holding a difficult position, but staying relaxed. It's like labor.

I got an introductory package, so I get to go to unlimited classes for the next two weeks. Unfortunately, I'm going to be at home for Thanksgiving, so I'll miss the next Saturday class. I'm also probably going to miss the Wednesday evening class because we're headed down to Corvallis that night. It's the only Wednesday class I can make until the end of the term because I teach. If Mike works late, I'm going to go to the yoga class and then we'll drive down afterwards.

I didn't feel any tiny squee motion during the yoga class, but got some good bumps earlier this evening. Sometimes, it feels like baby is jumping up and down on my cervix. Or at least it feels like I imagine it might feel to have something jumping up and down on my cervix. I'm not sure how it feels to have ones cervix bumped from the inside. Pregnancy is really weird.

Hip pain and yoga

When you're pregnant, you're supposed to sleep on your side. Specifically the left side, because they the weight of the baby doesn't obstruct the vena cava and your intestines. This isn't really a problem for me because I've always preferred to sleep on my left side. However, I've started getting pains in my hips from sleeping that way.

The pains started probably 6 weeks ago, maybe longer. I started waking up early in the morning because my hip hurt too much to continue laying on it. I could switch temporarily to the other side, but then that side would start to hurt. We bought a memory foam mattress topper (at Costco) and it solved the problem for a while, but it's back again.

Turns out this is a very common problem among pregnant women. The relaxin hormone is produced during pregnancy to relax the joints and ligments in the hips and pelvis so the baby can pop out more easily. However, it starts its work early on in the pregnancy process and leads to hip and thigh pain in some women. Me, for instance.

People online have suggested various pillow configurations (between the knees, between the ankles, behind the back so you can lean slightly backwards, in front of the belly to support the weight of the baby). It sounds like the only solution is pillow trial and error. I may start giving that a try in the next few nights.

My other solution was to try a little yoga. I'd planned on doing prenatal yoga, in fact as Mike would be happy to tell you, I bought three prenatal yoga DVDs from Amazon. However, as Mike would relish telling you even more, I haven't actually opened any of them. I'm using the "I've been busy" excuse. That, combined with the "when I'm not busy, I'm lazy" excuse, means that I hadn't gotten around to yoga.

This morning, my hips were *really* sore. I slept a long time last night (I was exhausted yesterday), which contributed in part. I also took a long walk on Tuesday, so my hips and parts of my thighs were sore Tuesday night and Wednesday. This morning, I decided to bite the bullet and actually break out the yoga DVDs. One of them is only 30 minutes long, so I decided to start with that one and get into this whole process gradually. It was very low intensity, but I feel somewhat better stretched than when I started. My hips and legs are very tight, so I'm sure continuing with the yoga is an excellent idea. We'll see if this does anything to alleviate hip pain tonight.

Classes

When I undertake anything new, the first thing I do is read books about it, then I take a class. I see no reason why babies shouldn't work the same way. I've read about childbirth online and in books, now it's time for the class.

I've been looking into which class (or classes!) we should take. I've enrolled us in an infant CPR class through OHSU. I was really looking for childbirth sorts of classes, but I was having trouble finding anything that matched up with our (irritatingly difficult) schedules and sounded like something we'd be interested in taking.

There's basically two options:
1. Class at a hospital (like OSHU). They sound fairly clinical, and talk about the anatomy of birth, pain management, and possible complications. It sounded sort of like a class I didn't want to take for the same reasons that I've chosen to not give birth in a hospital. On the plus side, there are a whole bunch of different ones available so it would be easier to schedule.
2. Class at a woo-woo place (like Zenana Spa). They're a lot more touchy-feely. They talk about visualizing birth, thinking about the birth process through art, and creating an atmosphere of love and intimacy. I visualize the people who take this class as people who wear crystals and weave their own hemp clothing (which I'm sure is totally untrue). On the plus side, they won't be trying to convince me of the benefits of scheduling an elective C-section.

Mike recommended that I call Dr Liz and ask if she had an opinion. I did, and she did. She said that she used to teach childbirth classes and then stopped when she realized that no matter what she taught in the class, births never quite went that way. No matter how you prepare before birth, nothing can prepare you for the actual process. She agreed that the hospital classes would probably be too clinical for what I was looking for and that the woo-woo classes would be very full of woo.

She recommended that I take prenatal yoga, which I'm going to look into at the yoga studio she mentioned. She also sort of recommended Hypnobirth classes: she said "I've never seen hypnobirthing go catastrophically wrong, no matter how it goes". Another thought is The Yoga Way to Birth. She said it might be a little "intense", but I'm not sure if that's intensity of woo or what. The website says that you don't need any yoga background to take the class. She also recommended that we take this "Becoming Parents" class, which I was already thinking about. She said it wasn't worth it to take a breastfeeding class (she will "get us through it") or infant massage, unless we discover that we really need infant massage after the baby is born (because it's "extra cranky").

I'd seen Hypnobirth and Yoga Way to Birth mentioned in other places and I'd looked into them somewhat, but it was good to get validation that they might actually be useful things before pursuing them further. I'd been planning on taking prenatal yoga next term, but I might work harder to squeeze it into this term's schedule as well (she thought that would be a very good idea). It was validating to hear that she agreed with my thoughts on the two types of classes (hospital and woo). It was also really comforting to hear that she didn't totally think we needed to take a birthing class. If we can't fit it in, the baby will still get born.

It's a wiggler

There's been quite a bit of action from the tiny squee recently. Today, it felt like baby was bouncing up and down either on my bladder or cervix. It's a really interesting sensation. I wouldn't say it's an entirely pleasant sensation, but it's not as entirely disconcerting as it was when it first started happening.

Baby has also been hungry for junk food. We need to have a talk about this behavior before it gets out of hand. It would really be more convenient (and healthy) if I started craving kale, squash, or cabbage.

Re-stomach issues

Thursday met with a resurgence of stomach upsets. I think it must have been stomach flu and not food poisoning - it lasted too long to reasonably be food poisoning. I spent Thursday tired and sick and ended up calling out of work (which I never do). I think I watched 12 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and eat 6 or 8 pieces of toast and that was about the peak of my productivity.

Luckily, I felt better yesterday and seem to be back to normal stomach behavior today (although I'm still pretty tired).

Baby seems to have made it through the experience relatively unscathed, as judged by the amount of dustbathing that's been taking place in my abdomen. Baby prefers to wiggle around when I'm driving and in the evening. Mike has yet to be in the right place at the right time to feel a wiggle, but I'm not actually sure if they can be felt on the outside yet. I haven't managed to feel one with my hand either.

We took our Christmas / baby announcement photo yesterday. I had a groupon for holiday cards and it had to be used by the 15th, so we had to move forward on the project. I hope they don't take too long to get here so I can get them mailed out before Christmas.

Halfway!!

I'm at 20 weeks now, which means that we're halfway to the birth. I still don't look all that pregnant (although sometimes I look a lot more pregnant than others), but the baby starts to gain weight a lot faster now. That means that I'll probably start to look pregnant-er in the next couple of weeks. I should also start feeling the baby move more.

I've felt what could potentially be baby movement. It sort of feels like there's a degu dust-bathing in my abdomen. It feels almost like nausea, but not quite. It's a really weird sensation. This has been going on for a week or so, but I'm not entirely ready to pin it down as baby movement. It's difficult to identify a sensation that you've never felt before. I was pretty sure I felt a definite baby movement last night, which felt sort of like several pokes, but then I spent the rest of the night sick so there was obviously something abnormal going on in there to start with.

Dr Liz says that in the next few weeks I should start feeling the baby move at least once a day. That'll be exciting. It'll be nice to know that everything is going ok in there. It's sort of tough to tell right now. There's not a lot of pregnancy symptoms at this point, so I get concerned that there's not a lot of pregnancy. However, baby has been doing fine at all the appointments, so I shouldn't worry.

This week, baby is roughly the size of a degu! So if you picture one of these rodents on the inside rather than on my lap, that's in the right ballpark. The length of a goo is probably pretty close to the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby and the weight is about right.

Stomach upset and Doctor's Appointment

Yesterday, I must have eaten something that made me sick. Mike and I ate dinner before we headed off to work and I was fine until about 9:15 (the class goes till 9:50). Around then, I started getting gas pains and my stomach was getting upset. At 9:30, I had to tell the class we had to take a break but that I would be back shortly. After 10 unpleasant minutes in the bathroom, I came back and told them that the rest of class was cancelled and I'd email them with the administrative information I'd wanted to tell them. Note to self: need to email class.

I headed back to the bathroom for a bit more quality time. Finally, I felt confident enough to creep to my car and drive home, but I felt really questionable the whole time. Questionable enough that I pulled out a plastic bag in case I puked. I didn't, at least not till I got home. 

After some more enjoyable bathroom time, I laid on the couch and watched 2 episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. My stomach was cramping and I just felt crappy. Finally, I headed into bed, but didn't sleep well at all. I kept waking up, although I don't think it was due to my stomach being upset. A yucky evening overall. 

I had an appointment with my doctor this morning, so I asked her about the whole thing and potential baby impacts. She didn't seem concerned, although the internet seemed to think it was a major problem when I googled it last night. I guess because it's cleared up today, it's not a big issue. 

We chatted for an hour about how things were going. Sadly, she's moving locations. We're still going to see her, but it won't be as conveniently located. We'll still have access to the birthing room at this place, if that's what we decide to do, but all of the prenatal appointments after Jan 1 will be at her new office. She says she got tired of the homeless people camping out in the front doorway (and in the locked yard in the back) and that the building is falling down and the landlord doesn't care. I'd probably move my office, too.

We listened to baby's heartbeat (normal), she measured me (normal), and I got weighed (normal increase). We're hoping for completely average as far as the pregnancy and delivery go, so we're off to a good start so far.

Eating

This seems to be my major pass-time these days. I get hungry about every 1.5-2 hours and need to eat some sort of meal. Sometimes, eating a container of yogurt or a few crackers will do the trick, but other times I need to actually eat a full-blown meal.

I'm discovering that meals which contain protein are better (more filling, last longer) than meals which don't contain protein. I made lentil soup and that works really well, but (TMI) it gives me gas. Of course, just about everything seems to.

I've started carrying snacks with me everywhere I go. I figure it's practice for when I actually have the baby and I need to carry crackers or whatever for emergency baby nibbles. My pregnant lady friend (who's not American) didn't agree with me. She thinks that people here snack too much and that we should eat designated meals at designated dinner tables. Mike would be pleased with that assessment, but I'm still not sure it applies to babies.

My common snacks these days are: apples or pears (easy to carry and eat while driving home from work), various types of granola / protein / fruit bars (also easy to carry and store in the car), peanuts and tasty seed mix (containing sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, soynuts, and whatever else I find in the bulk bins), and crackers. I was thinking last night that I needed to get some baby carrots, which would also be convenient.

I've been way too busy with work to do much baby-related planning or stuff... I figure that'll be what I do during the third trimester after this term from hell is over.

Showing

Weeks ago, I had to tell two of my department chairs that I was pregnant because they asked me about working winter term. Today, I told the last one. I was unexpectedly offered another class for winter term (after being told there were none) because someone suddenly couldn't teach it.

We sat down to discuss the matter and I told her that the only consideration was that I was pregnant. She said "I know, you've started showing." This pleased me quite a bit. I hadn't thought it was that noticeable because no one has said anything... but apparently it's not the sort of thing you mention to someone unless they've told you that they're pregnant. This makes sense and I know it to be true: I wouldn't want to accidentally ask someone about their pregnancy and find out that they just had gained 10 pounds.

As I was teaching lab, I kept thinking about her saying that I was showing and getting happy feelings.

She is, like my other department chairs, totally supportive and willing to find a sub if I have to leave early. She also suggested that I look at the labs for the class and see if there's anything I'm uncomfortable with (chemical-wise) and that we could find a sub for those particular labs as well.

Baby presents!

We got fabulous gifts in the mail today!

First, we got the second version of our wedding photo album, designed by Mike's mom. The first version had a somewhat less than flattering picture of him on the front. This version looks fabulous. This doesn't count as a baby present, but rather a present for us.

Second, we got a Moses Basket from the elementary school that Mike's mom works at. It's really lovely. My brother registered for one of these and didn't ever get one because it was too expensive... so I'm feelin' the love right now.

It's currently taking up all of the empty space on our kitchen table, but I don't want to move it anywhere that it will get dirty. However, dinner is on the stove and we'll be eating fairly shortly, so I'm going to have to package it back up in its box before anything happens to it.

Spicy

This week, the baby is the size of an onion. However, we weighed the onion and it's roughly twice the weight of the baby. We decided that the baby must be full of styrofoam.

Stroller #2

Today, we got up at 6am (well, that was when the alarm went off anyhow) and headed out to the REI used gear sale. When we were at REI a few weeks ago checking out the BOB strollers, the guy we were talking to reminded us about this sale and said that there are usually a few strollers there... but that we would have to get there early if we wanted a shot at them. We got in line around 7am. The sale opened at 8 and the line was already around 3 sides of the building. There were people who had set up tents the night before to get a good spot. That's hardcore. I can't think what I would want at REI that would lead me to camp on the sidewalk outside their building for a night.

We got inside the sale at probably around 9am. They only let a few people in at a time because it's a pretty tight space. I had scouted it out earlier (shortly after 8) and there were 5 or 6 strollers at that point, but several of them had already been sold. I guess you need to get there really early in the morning if you want the good selection. By the time we got in, there were two strollers left. One very used blue one where the tread was practically worn off the wheels ($144), and one orange one ($199). We decided to go for the orange one. I think it's last year's model, but it's never been used. The pokey rubber things are still sticking out all over the tires. I talked to the person who was working inside the REI in the stroller section and she said there were some updates between last year's model and this year's, but I don't think they're worth $150. I didn't really want the orange one, but I'll get used to it.

We also ended up getting a ginormous (6 person) tent so that we'll be able to take the kid and the dog camping next summer (originally $450 including a footprint tarp thingy that goes underneath; we paid $90). We got a smallish backpack that I thought would make an excellent diaper bag and Mike got two new pairs of toe shoes. All-in-all, a successful shopping trip.

However, I was exhausted by the end. I was hungry and tired and getting cranky. I ate an apple and a protein bar in the car and we made it home. I got in bed and napped for an hour. I have not managed to accomplish any of the other things that I needed to do today, but I did grocery shop. I'm going to cook white bean and fennel soup and there's a loaf of bread in the bread maker.

Diapers, cataloged

Ok, it's totally an obsession. Hopefully if I catalog them all, I will realize that I have enough and stop buying them. Here we go.

On the left top is a medium fitted diaper and a medium cover (of two different brands. On the bottom edge is a medium pocket diaper from some brand that starts with Bum. I think these may have come with the Fuzzibunz (all medium), which are the next set over from the left. Looks like there are 10 of these, although there may be another one or two floating around. I think I paid about $6/diaper for all of these, which would put it at maybe $60? That seems like a number I remember.

In the center are a bunch of misc inserts that go inside of pocket diapers. A couple of them are from diapers in the picture that just don't have inserts, but a bunch of them are extras. I spent $5 on 3 microfiber ones, several of them are my homemade ones, and the rest came as part of other bundles of diapers I bought.

On the right are 9 BumGenius one-size 3.0 pocket diapers (from Craigslist, bought probably a year ago). I know I paid less than $10/diaper and I think there may be another one lurking around because I thought there were 10 of them originally. I think I may have paid $80 for these.

On the very right edge are a few prefolds that I got from Jess. There's 2 or 3 small and 2 large ones.

These are the diapers that I've made. The 5 at the top are pocket diapers. The two on the left are adjustable (supposed to be one-size). Then there's two medium ones and one little one. Below those are 5 covers. They also are various sizes. The top two on the right edge are "butterfly" diapers which sort of fold apart and the bottom one is a weird fitted one made out of flannel.

These are the diapers I bought with a bunch of other stuff from a lady on Craigslist the other day. I also bought 12 small organic cotton prefolds and 12 mediums, which I didn't bother to take a picture of. I paid $86 total for this stuff.

 These are organic cotton fitted diapers. On the right is one of the diapers I bought, on the left is what I've restored it to look like. I replaced the elastic and serged around the edges with a multicolor rainbow thread. The fabric is quite worn, but I think they'll work ok. I have 13 of these and they cost me $20. They're a medium size.

These are my newest purchase. These are the little diapers. Total, these were $200.
For newborns: Top left: 3 kissaluvs size 0 (fits 5-15 lbs). Bottom right: 5 Kushies newborn (4-10 lbs). There's a tiny little cover at the very top right, then several XS bummis wraps (newborn size). The gDIapers (bright orange one in middle) fits 8-14 lbs.
For slightly older: At the bottom left are Kissaluvs contours in small (fits 5-20 lbs) and medium (fits 15-30 lbs). Small bummis wraps fit 8-15 lbs.
Not pictured: 12 organic prefold newborn diapers and 12 size small. These are from Green Mountain Diapers and I bought them new ($62).

All about cloth diapers recommends that you have 24 newborn-sized diapers, along with wipes, doublers, etc. I've got 12 prefolds, 12 contours, a couple fitteds, with 3 or so covers. I could probably use a few more covers but I think I can make those.

The small size should last for several months. I've got about the same number of that size as I do newborn, which is probably close to enough.

Hopefully there isn't a gap between the small diapers and the medium fuzzibunz all-in-ones, which are supposed to fit 15-30 lbs. The medium thirsties covers supposedly fit 18-30 lbs, so they may be a bit big. I might be able to cover the gap with the BumGenius, since their size is adjustable, but I was hoping to not have to use those until baby is a bit bigger.

So the bottom line: I've definitely got WAY enough bigger diapers; I'll be able to cycle through those slowly enough that they won't get a ton of usage. I could probably use a few more newborn and small diapers. Luckily, I just got an email back from two other Craigslist ads I responded to for newborn and little gDiapers ($50) and 8 medium bumkins covers which fit 12-22 lbs (a steal at $25). Then I really have to stop watching Craigslist for diaper ads!!

More (the last!) diapers.

One glaring hole in my (somewhat oversized) collection of cloth diapers was diapers for the first few months. I've already decided that I don't want to use the all-in-one diapers when the baby is really tiny. I think they're just way too huge and my mom felt like they restricted my niece's movement when she was little (she learned to turn herself over right after they switched to disposables). I have both BumGenius 3.0 and Fuzzibunz one-size diapers, but I don't want to use them until the baby is big enough to move inside them.

My latest Craigslist purchase is a bunch of little cloth diapers, all of which I got for $200:
5 newborn Kushies (all in one) - these are really cute. (new: $10)
3 newborn Bummis wraps (new: about $12)
5 small Bummis wraps (new: about $12)
1 small Litewrap wrap (new: about $6)
6 Thirstys wraps (new: about $11)
12 small Kissaluvs contour cloth diapers (possibly $7)
8 medium Kissaluvs contour cloth diapers (also about $7)
3 size 0 Kissaluvs fitted diapers (about $12)
2 size 2 Kissaluvs fitted diapers (about $12)
2 Snappis for the Kissaluvs (about $5)
2 G Diapers (about $15)
TOTAL if bought new: about $458 - I got the prices off of amazon. They're approximate because for some items, I'm not sure if I got the exact right item.

The lady who was selling the diapers also let me go through her maternity clothes. I got a bag of new tops (probably 8 or so) and a swimsuit for $20. Then, I stopped by Other Mother's consignment shop (I'd seen ads for it on Craigslist) and picked up three pairs of pants I can wear to work, a red Christmasy sweater, and a cute baby outfit with a raccoon on it all for $30. I had needed more work pants since I really only have one pair and it's hard to make it through a whole week with only one pair of pants. I'm pleased and will run several loads of laundry tomorrow.

I'll have to go through and catalog what diapers I have and how much I (think) I spent on them. I'm trying to keep a total now so that I'll be able to see how much this whole diapering endeavor costs. I'm curious to compare it to disposable diapers.

Cooking frenzy

Today, I went through a cooking frenzy.

My work schedule is very busy this term. Monday and Wednesday, I teach an 8:30-10am class, then a 6 or 7-10pm class. For most of the term, I've come home between classes and taken an nap in the afternoon. It gives me the energy to make it through the night class, but it takes up a good portion of my day. Today, I decided I would stay awake the whole day.

My first project was swiss chard pancakes. We've had the chard for probably 2 weeks now. It was well past its prime, but I figured that it gets blended into batter so it probably didn't matter too much. They were bright green and fairly tasty. We had them with a little butter and salt, but decided that they would have been better with melted cheese on top. This was my second breakfast, the first having been oatmeal that I ate before I went to class.

Next, I took the chicken carcasses that had been partially made into stock and sitting in the large pot in fridge for several days and finished boiling them. I strained out the liquid and picked the rest of the meat off the bones. I froze some of the stock and used the rest as the liquid in my next project:

Lentil and spinach soup. The recipe called for water, but since I had the chicken stock I thought I'd use it instead. I also cut up the rest of the chicken meat and added that as well. It turned out extremely tasty. I'd forgotten how much I like lentils; they're just so easy. I had a small bowl of soup around noon for lunch.

The actual cooking plan for today was sausage and cabbage pitas. We got a cabbage from the CSA and Mike had picked up italian sausage and not-meat sausage to use in it. I used half the not-meat sausage and all the meat kind as well as the entire cabbage. There was a slight issue with the pitas, as they turned out to be flatbreads and refused to open up to hold sausage-cabbage. It was tasty, though. We always enjoy this meal. I ate a pita and some sausage-cabbage around 5, before I headed to my second class.

I had thought that would hold me until I got home, but it didn't. I ended up eating two single-serve halloween candy bars that I had in my jacket pocket, then had another small bowl of lentil soup when I got home from class (just now).

I guess I should also add in the banana I ate during the first class and the apple I had in the car driving home from it. This tiny squee does like to eat.

Diaper Obsession

I seem to have developed an obsession with cloth diapers. I've dreamed about them for the last two nights. Not even interesting dreams, just dreamed about ordering them on amazon. What sizes should I get? What types? What colors? Do I want to use prefolds or all-in-ones or hybrids? I've become an expert on a topic that I won't have any use for until 5 months from now. I've bought hundreds of dollars worth of diapers off of Craigslist (over a long period of time, but still) and I'm still looking for more. I have several patterns to sew my own and I've put additional hundreds of dollars into supplies to make diapers with. I'm making modifications to the patterns based on absolutely no experience with actually putting these things onto a baby.

I guess it's good to have a hobby.

New acquisitions

My brother and sister-in-law had decided that they were going to get me a BOB Revolution stroller as my baby present. It's the way high-end SUV of strollers. REI is having a 20% off one item sale, which includes this stroller (although according to the guy at the REI we stopped by, it's been excluded in the sale in previous years). They bought it for us online and I picked it up in the Portland REI this morning. We haven't opened the box, which is large and imposing. Mike has this idea that he'll go to the REI used gear sale and see if he can get one for cheaper. If so, we could return this one and give my bro a refund on the difference.

This morning, I also picked up a bunch of stuff from a woman on Craigslist. Here's a list of my loot:
Boppy with organic cotton cover - $10
Baby Bjorn Potty - $4
Kidco Food Mill with case - $5
5 Thirsties Diaper Covers size Medium - $5 each (1 pink, 1 yellow, 1 light blue, 1 dark blue, 1 periwinkle)
3 Thirsties Diaper Covers size 2 (these are the newer style with snaps to accommodate 18-40 pounds) - $5 each (2 blue, 1 yellow) **These have hardly been used at all - maybe 2 times each)
1 Bummis Whisper Pant Medium - $2
2 Bumpkins Plastic Bibs - $3
1 small Snappi and 2 large Snappis - $5
2 wet bags - 1 blue medium, 1 white large - $3 dollars each
12 small organic cotton prefold diapers - $15
12 medium organic cotton prefold diapers - $15
13 one size fits most fitted organic cotton diapers - $20 (I'll have to replace the elastic on these)
2 Hemp pocket diapers with fleece lining and doublers - $7 each
Diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet - $20
Misc. organic cotton wipes, and extra random diapers...I'll throw them in if interested.

Grand total: $155
I figure it's a good deal. I can probably resell much of what I bought, either before the baby (if it's something we decide we're not going to use) or after the baby (since cloth diapers and such hold resale value pretty well).

I'm totally set for larger size diapers now... I just need to figure out what I'm going to do when baby is still teeny tiny.

Omega 3's

Today, the baby and I shared a can of sardines. The normal reactions I get from people when I tell them I've eaten sardines are either "Ew!" or "Huh".

My dad, my brother and I used to go camping fairly frequently when I was a kid. One of the things that we always brought along to eat was a can of sardines and saltine crackers. I have excellent memories associated with eating sardines and I enjoy their fishy flavor. They're also chock full o' good stuff: calcium (if you get the bone-in kind), omega-3's, and probably other things that I've forgotten.

Earlier on in my pregnancy, I was totally avoiding fish. While we were on our honeymoon cruise, I couldn't eat fish (with one exception) and didn't even want Mike to sit too close when he was eating fish. Anticipating that this would change as morning sickness abated, I bought three cans of sardines.

I opened one up and enjoyed it this afternoon. It was fabulous. I'm supposed to be eating about 1 fishy meal a week. We had salmon a while back, but I think it's been more than a week since I ate any fish, so it was about time.

Speaking of eating, today has been full of it. I had my usual breakfast this morning (oatmeal with raisins, frozen blueberries, ground flax, and plain yogurt). By the time I finished teaching 2 hours later, I was starving. Luckily, I had brought an apple for the drive home. Upon arrival home, I fixed myself a small grilled cheese sandwich with the last of the loaf of Costco bread. It's small-sized bread, so it was probably about half the size of a regular grilled cheese. I also ate the very end of the loaf with butter. Then, I had a plum. A half hour later, I was hungry again. That's what inspired the eating of the can of sardines, as well as half a sleeve of Club crackers, which we got instead of saltines because they're better with cheese. I topped it off with a small handful of peanut M&M's.

I believe I'm sated for at least the next hour or so.

Pee, take 2

This morning's results agree with the first batch.

pH was slightly higher at 7.
Baking soda exhibited no bubbling at all.

Gender tests

So there's this theory on the internet that if you're having a boy, the pH of your urine is more acidic than having a girl. You can test the pH of your urine with various household chemicals. I tried this tonight because I think it will make an interesting experiment to try several times over the course of a few days and see if the pH of my urine holds steady or if the results change.

First, we tested it using pH paper. The whole point of doing the other tests is that most households don't have pH paper laying around... but we're a scientific sort of a family. My urine is around pH 6.

When we added pee to baking soda, we saw only very limited fizzing (like just bubbles escaping from the baking soda because it's a dry powder). Supposedly, this means it's a girl.

An equal volume of pee added to bleach also produced only limited fizzing. Supposedly if it's a boy, it can even foam over the top of the container. My bleach + pee solution bubbled slightly, like soda. This test smelled bad and the internet warns that the gas produced from this reaction can be toxic (although other parts of the internet thought that was an overreaction). Since the same results were achieved via baking soda and bleach tests, I'm going to skip the bleach test from now on.

Alright, survey says it's a girl. That disagrees with the Intelligender test I took earlier on. I believe that test is also a pH-based test, which lends support to the idea that urine changes pH according to diet. I'll try again tomorrow and report back.

First baby gender dream!

Last night, I dreamed I had the baby and it was a boy. After he was born, I held him up to my breast in case he was hungry (it's a lot of work being born). He glommed right onto my nipple, but I knew he wasn't attached the right way, so we pulled him off and tried again. After several attempts, he got attached right and started nursing.

There was nothing definitively gender-specific about this dream except that I knew he was a boy. I think this dream was brought about by the discussion we had with the Dr yesterday about gender dreams.

Today I fell in love.

I was sitting at work today, daydreaming about the baby. Specifically, I was daydreaming about what my mother is going to think the next time I see her because I look a LOT more pregnant than the last time she saw me. She's going to be so excited! While I was daydreaming, I totally, suddenly, and completely fell in love with this baby. I mean, don't get me wrong, I liked the baby before. But now... now, I'm completely smitten with this tiny apple-sized person who inhabits the formerly flat portion of my anatomy that's now poking out through my maternity pants.

I can't stop smiling.

Actual baby dream!

Last night, I dreamed that I had an actual human baby. He (it was a boy) showed up early and was teeny-tiny, but was healthy and wiggling. My mom and dad were there and we were putting tiny little diapers on him.

Then the dream morphed into "reality" where I hadn't had the baby yet. I was complaining that I would have to do something else for Christmas cards because I wouldn't have baby pictures yet, so we decided to do a photo shoot at Halloween. We hung a couple of pumpkins from a tree and then put stuffed animals in a shopping cart and parked it under the pumpkins. Because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like pumpkins and a shopping cart of stuffed animals. Mike's mom was there helping me position the shopping cart. Then, she climbed the tree.

Doctor's Appointment

I went in for my final doctor's appointment at Kaiser on Wednesday (and then forgot to blog about it). It's sad because I really, really liked my midwife there... but she wouldn't be the one to actually deliver the baby. If I kept Kaiser, I'd have to deliver in one of the Kaiser hospitals (there are three in the area). I wouldn't get to choose who my doctor was for the deliver, it's just whoever happens to be there at that time. They also have a roughly 20% C-section rate, which despite being pretty low for hospitals in our area still seems way too high for my comfort.

The midwife said everything was looking good. She said I looked much better than at my previous appointment, although I'm not sure how she can remember what I looked like - it was a month ago. I feel much better, though, so I was willing to believe her.

We listened to the baby's heartbeat (about 170) and she felt my uterus. She says it's "just popped right out there, hasn't it", which is totally true and explains why I don't fit into any of my pants anymore. She said it was poking out about where they'd usually expect it at about 16 weeks, which means I'm a week and a half ahead of schedule as far as uterus-popping goes.

I appear to have entered the hungry phase of pregnancy. When I had morning sickness, I had to eat every hour and a half or two hours because otherwise I started to feel sick. Now, I have to eat every hour and a half or two hours because I'm starving. On the plus side, I've felt a lot more like cooking which means I'm eating better food. I've actually managed to cook some meals that involved vegetables, which would have been unthinkable back in trimester #1. Vegetables just weren't all that appetizing.

We're off to Costco this morning. There's currently nothing on our list. It will cost $200.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

The term has started up again. I've worked a total of one day so far and I'm about done with the whole idea. Yesterday, I had an 8:30am class. This is too early for anyone to have a class. The students were all half asleep and I couldn't really blame them. It was also raining, which didn't help. At least there was ample parking when I arrived, but who knew traffic was going to suck so bad at 7:30 in the morning?

After class, I came home to take a short nap before my evening class. Three hours later, I woke up. I ate and got ready to go teach again at 7. Didn't accomplish anything else that day.

Today, I have a class that starts at 2:30. So far, it's slightly after noon and I haven't managed to get dressed yet. Somehow it's less appealing to get dressed and then have to change into work clothes after a few hours. So again, I haven't accomplished much today, although I did manage to cook a lunch that actually involved a vegetable (asparagus).

I need to get on some sort of schedule where I have to get up and do something in the morning on Tues/Thurs (my 2:30 class days) so that I don't just wallow around in my PJs until noon. I don't feel too badly about the nap yesterday; obviously I was tired.

In other news, the pair of work pants that I thought would still fit (because I bought them really big and they have an elasticized waistband) aren't even close to fitting anymore. I must be pregnant.

Falling Behind in my Blogging

I was attempting to make it on here every day, but obviously I haven't met that goal during the past week. Quick updates:

One day I lost half a pound, the next day I gained four. I'm not quite sure what my body is up to. Today I look pretty pregnant, but that could be the quarter pound of jelly bellys I ate an hour ago. I think I need to stop eating out so much.

I had a bad dream that I was quite a bit more pregnant and had my hand on my belly, feeling the baby move. Then, the baby bit my hand and wouldn't let go.

We went on baby's first trip to the coast. The weather was fabulous in Cannon Beach and we walked a long ways down the beach. We started north of Haystack rock, walked past it, walked past a park, then walked past a set of two haystack rocks. By that time, the tide was going out and we had some good tidepooling. We brought Rags with us because he enjoys snuffing about on the beach, even though he hates water. He did not appreciate tidepooling because it involved going out where the waves were. Even worse, it involved going where the waves split around large rocks and then came after him from both directions at once. He had to climb up on the barnacle and mussel covered rocks a couple of times to escape from certain doom. Finally, he went and sat far enough up the beach that the waves couldn't get him. He did keep a close eye on us to make sure that we weren't going to be killed or washed out to sea. By the end of the walk back, Rags and I were pretty tired. My feet were getting sore (one of them hurts quite a bit today). I also got sunburned various places: arms, cheeks, back of neck, back of calves, tops of feet. We randomly encountered friends and had an excellent dinner. I had steak, Mike had mac and cheese (which sadly came with peppers in it, so I couldn't eat any).

Our "what size is baby this week" website says that baby is currently the size of a peach, but will be the size of a lemon next week. I'm not sure that the writers of the website have ever seen either a peach OR a lemon. We decided that it's a small peach this week, and next week it will be a large peach.

Studies show that stretch marks are mostly genetic and no matter what you rub on your growing body parts, you're likely to get stretch marks if your mother had them and not get them if she didn't. I have coconut oil to rub on, but it makes me feel greasy and I stick to my pajamas. In the defense of coconut oil, lotion did the same thing.

Telling Work

Today, I told my main department chair that I'm pregnant and asked what she wants to do for winter term. If the baby waits until the due date to show up, I'll make it through the end of the term. If baby comes early, I'd miss time... possibly quite a bit.

She was very supportive. We talked about what classes I might teach and she said she'd just get ready to potentially find a sub if necessary. I told her I'll be taking spring term entirely off, but will probably be ready to teach at least a little bit for summer and then back to "full part time" in the fall.

This is now the second department chair that I've told and both have been very supportive. Both of them are women, so maybe that's part of it. I've never had to have this talk with an employer before, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but it went well.

I've spent a fair amount of time wondering and sort of mildly worrying about what would happen winter term. It's a relief to have it resolved and not have to think about it, except in the context of how teaching is going to be once I'm ginormous.

This better not become a habit

I also didn't sleep well last night. I had an awful headache for several hours before finally giving up and getting in bed. My stomach was also upset, but whatever, I'm used to that part. The first several times I woke up to pee, I still had a headache. Totally unfair. Finally, I woke up at what I believe to be about 3am. I didn't ever check the clock because I didn't really want to know. I was wide awake and couldn't fall back asleep for probably an hour. I considered getting up and doing something, but decided against it because then I would never have gotten back to sleep.

I spend an amazing amount of time thinking about being pregnant. It's almost a constant thing. I think about the things I need to do before the baby shows up, I contemplate working the rest of this term and how next term will go, I read all sorts of things online and out of books I've checked out of the library. I would conservatively say that 85% of my waking hours involve some sort of thought about being pregnant. I didn't realize that it would become an all-encompassing thing quite this early.

In other news, Mike and I went to a consignment sale at the Expo center on Saturday. It was apparently exhausting because I had to come home and nap for several hours. I didn't find a maternity coat, which was what I had specifically been looking for, but I did find a lovely soft sweater and another pair of maternity pants. They're brown, extremely comfortable, and fit rather like MC Hammer pants. Stop... Baby time.

Also not my best night's sleep

I guess I'm practicing for after the baby gets here. I did eat out both of those nights, so maybe there's some sort of correlation.

Last night, I dreamed that we were out on a hike. We saw a mama bear and her baby, which was exciting. Then, this large brown bear ran down the hill towards us. We were scared and just about to run away when it became evident that all he wanted was to get over the top of the mountain. Turns out there were TONS of people on the trail up the mountain and the bear wasn't able to go by himself because either (it was unclear) he would scare the people or the people would scare him. I began leading the bear up the mountain, which involved basically walking between the bear and the people. When I was between the bear and the people, they couldn't see each other.

There was another whole part to this dream that I remembered this morning, but have since forgotten.

In other news, the baby is the size of a plum.

Not my best night's sleep

It was a good night for dreams, though. It seemed like I had one really, really long dream that just continued through the whole night. I kept waking up (bathroom, drink, too hot/cold), so I remember quite a bit of it. It was a very convoluted dream, though so I'm not sure I'll be able to describe most of it.

We were playing Eucre (spelling? it's a card game. This is how it was spelled in my head in the dream). I've never played this game and have no idea how one would play this game except that I'm positive it's not played how we were playing it. We dealt out cards, then someone took two or three cards and used them to ask questions. The questions were about something that had happened, which I think involved a girl and something she had done. If you couldn't figure out whether the girl was lying about what happened or not, your turn was over.

There was a part where I was teaching back in Baltimore. The building wasn't anything like the school where I taught, but I know that's where I was. My teacher friends from Baltimore were there. We were having some interaction with an old student of mine whose father had become wealthy (I believe he had become a rap star). The father was then pissed that his kid had failed high school, although he couldn't have cared less when I was actually teaching him, so he brought his lawyer to convince us that the kid should have passed. Not wanting to have this confrontation, I stepped out the front door to the school...

... and was suddenly on a cruise ship. The seas were really rough because the ship was going way up and down each time it hit a wave. It wasn't stormy, though and we were all having a good time riding it like a roller coaster. One of my friends from high school, who I haven't seen in years, was there and was going to go up to the front where they steer the ship because she needed more practice using a compass.

During all the parts of the dream, I was pregnant. I spent a good portion of the dream debating whether I should tell the people I saw that I was pregnant. I don't think I actually told any of them.

Great Granny

I'd been waiting until this appointment to tell my grandmother that I was pregnant. I didn't want to tell her when something bad was more likely to happen because I didn't want her to know if I lost the baby early. Today, I called her and told her. She said "I've been wondering when you were going to tell me!" Apparently my maternal relatives are all psychic when it comes to determining whether or not I'm pregnant. Granny says that she's thought about asking my mother many times when the baby was coming or when I was going to announce it, but she hasn't (she talks to my mother every night). She wondered when I was going to tell my mother. I didn't tell her that I told my mother weeks ago as I didn't want her to be too disappointed that I'd waited this long to tell her. But she's 96 and I didn't want her to have to go through bad news if there was any early on.

So far:

• My mother strongly suspected and wasn't surprised
• My grandmother already knew (she says "I just knew")
• My father said he knew I would have a baby some day because he thought I would make such a great mother and if I never had a baby, I wouldn't be able to fulfill that part of my destiny
• At least my brother was surprised.

Doctor's visit

The doctor's visit was a success!

Based on the ultrasound measurements and blood test, baby has a 1 in 5,123 chance of having Down Syndrome and a 1 in >10,000 chance of having trisomy 18 or 13. Baby seems to be developing normally so far.

Interestingly, the measurements they were taking of the length showed that baby is about 13 weeks along. Based on the date of my last period, baby is 12 weeks along. The doctor was concerned about that until we discussed cycle length (mine is pretty short) and possible conception date (July 1 or 3). With a short cycle, ovulation would probably have been earlier than 14 days, which would make the date of conception July 3. With that conception date, it makes the baby about 12.5 weeks along, which made him happier than it only being 12 weeks along. I'm unconcerned either way. Babies don't actually show up on their due dates anyhow, but apparently an accurate age matters for some of the tests they want to do. Now I have to figure out how to change my pregnancy tracker emails and phone app to reflect the baby's new age.

I laughed with the nurses because I went into the office 12 weeks pregnant and came out 13 weeks pregnant. That's a long appointment!

Rivers and floods

Last night's dream started out with us camping with Chelsea and Justin. Justin was going fishing and I wanted to go to, so I got a pole and carried it around for a while looking for something to use as bait. I didn't find anything. Justin offered to try again the next day, but my dad was going to come and pick me up and we were going off somewhere. He picked me up and took me to my Mom's house, which had an extra shower in the bathroom that drained into a hole in the floor. I took a shower.

Then I was driving back to the campground (I think). The road went over a bridge and the river was getting high. At some point, I decided to turn around and go back home instead of to the campground, but when I got back to the bridge, it was entirely flooded out. There were huge brown rapids over the top of where the bridge used to be.

According to the internet, "To see a raging or an overflowing river in your dream signifies that your life is feeling out of control. You are feeling emotionally unsettled. Alternatively, this dream means you are ready to confront life's challenges and life's twists and turns."


I don't feel like my life is out of control, but I'm slightly worried about the doctor's appointment this morning. More on that when I get home.


Also, "To dream that you are fishing indicates that you are confronting and bringing your repressed emotions to the surface."

If you're trying to fish, but can't find any bait, does that mean that you're attempting to confront repressed emotions, but aren't doing well at it?

It's a good thing I don't believe dreams can be interpreted literally like this.

A Book I'm Reading

I checked out several baby books and a knitting book from the library a few days ago. Right now, I'm reading "Baby Love: Choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence" by Rebecca Walker. The title seems to be inappropriate. She talks in the first few pages about how she wanted a baby for years and years and years. She gets substantially more ambivalent after she gets pregnant.

Anyhow, the point of this post is that I wanted to share a quote that I think explains why I don't want to give birth in a hospital. "Episiotomy, C-section, I just don't want to be lying there helpless and at the mercy of a bunch of doctors in a hurry to get to their golf game."

Dreams

Last night, I had a dream that we (I'm not sure who exactly "we" was comprised of) were eating at Pok Pok. This is a real restaurant in Portland, but I've never eaten there. And I'm pretty sure that it's nothing like it was in the dream. First of all, in real life they serve Thai food, but in the dream it was a Polynesian restaurant. It had a walk-up counter where they also served the food from. It was a lot like a food cart, actually. We went up to order and the lady asked if we were ready. We said no, that we needed a little more time. She then ignored us and took a bunch of other people's orders even though we came back up to the counter and tried to look ready to order. Finally, I announced that we were ready and we ordered.

I had another dream that seemed to be mostly about picking up things in a yard. Rags had run off, so we went to find him and found him in the middle of the lawn in the yard of a house we then moved into (right then). If you looked out the back window of the house, there were all these weird sort of modern art installations in the ground. Little caves had been dug out and then plastic masks and heads were placed around the caves. There was also other stuff around the caves as decoration. A guy (possibly a neighbor who was helping us move) announced that they had been done by the neighborhood children. They were pretty disturbing to look at, really, so we moved to the front yard. There was all sorts of stuff around the yard, including clothes. We went around picking it all up, with the neighbor guy and my dad (who had suddenly shown up) helping.

In other news, it's my second day of wearing maternity pants. I have a pair of capris (from Craigslist) and a pair of jeans (from Kohl's, courtesy of my mother) that fit. Most of the others won't fit until I'm quite a bit bigger. I'm not sure if that's how they're designed or if it's because the lady who owned them before stretched them out while she was pregnant. The capris have a short panel with a wide piece of elastic across the front only. The jeans have a really high, stretchy elastic band thingie that goes all the way around the pants. I'm wearing the jeans today, but the elastic panel keeps falling down. I'm also going to need a longer t-shirt to keep the panel from showing when I leave the house. On the plus side, maternity pants are really comfortable. I think I will wear them forever.

School dreams

One of my least favorite categories of dream is teaching dreams. I mean, if I have to work while I'm awake, shouldn't I get to do something more entertaining while I sleep? Totally unfair.

I had a "first day of class" dream. These almost always take place in lab. I think because there's a lot more opportunity for something to go wrong. I'd forgotten to tell the students how to get their lab manuals, so no one had brought one. I was trying to find enough lab manuals for everyone, but it wasn't working out.

Maternity Clothes

This is that awkward stage where I'm not really big enough to wear maternity clothes without them being baggy and silly looking, but I'm too big to wear real pants. It's not that my pants don't fit anymore, it's that having anything pushing on my tummy is extremely uncomfortable. Before, "suck it in" might have been a strategy that worked. Now, elastic waistbands rule the day. I'm even wearing dresses, which I almost never do, because they don't restrict my tummy. Who'd have thought that a person who's only the size of a fig would need so much room?

My maternity clothing plan has been to look at Goodwill and on Craigslist. I went to Goodwill last week and found one pair of nice looking black pants. I wore them out already, actually. They have a very stretchy waistband, but not that big elastic pouch thing that is on a lot of maternity pants. Maternity pants, unlike regular pants, come in S, M, L, XL, rather than numbered sizes. I wasn't sure where I fell on the continuum. After I tried on a few pairs of pants at Goodwill to determine my size, I started to look Craigslist.

Last night, I picked up an awesome deal. A garbage bag full of clothes for $40. Turns out the people have 5 kids and are moving. I'm guessing that they're way done having kids and that the mom didn't want to have to deal with the clothes now that they're moving. Total score for me.

There's several pairs of jeans, some shorts (which I probably won't wear since I'll be mostly pregnant in the winter), a pair of leggings and a skirt. There's also a whole laundry basket full of tops: some tshirts, some nicer shirts. I'm pretty well set as far as clothes go. I'm going out shopping with my mother today. The only thing I think I really need are black pants that I can wear to work... although I'll probably get to the point where I'm wearing jeans and comfy tops.

The only downside is that they seem to be *full* of detergent residue. I'm running the first load through the wash and at the end of the first cycle, I could see suds coming out during the final spin. I ran them through again with no additional detergent (I'm still using my homemade laundry detergent, which doesn't usually produce much in the way of suds) and they're still sudsing on the second go-round. It's going to be a pain to wash all of these things two or three times, but I don't want to chance allergic reactions to the laundry detergent. They'll probably be softer once I get them actually rinsed out, too.

Dog dreams

Last night's dream started with a large dog. My mother had found him and he was quite wild. She had brought him to my wedding and we were debating where to put him. We decided (after much debate and trying the dog in different locations) that he could be left in the car during the ceremony.

The dream then moved on to getting ready for the wedding. B was there helping me do my hair and makeup. Todd was also there and she helped him with his as well. Then we were playing on the underside of a bridge.

Fruit dreams

Last night, I dreamed that we had stopped at a fruit stand. We bought apricots and plums. The apricots were fabulous.

Baby Size

Last week, the baby was the size of a kumquat.

This week, the baby is the size of a fig.

Birth Center

I'd decided that I didn't want to have the baby in a hospital. Even the good hospitals in the area have above a 20% C-section rate. I don't think there's any way that 20% of births should require major surgery and I want a chance to have the baby without medical interventions (pitocin, epidural, etc). I'd decided to have the baby either at a birth center or with a midwife at home.

Today, we went and toured the Natural Childbirth and Family Clinic. It's very close to our apartment, which is convenient. Two of the doctors there are covered by my medical insurance, which is extremely convenient. We met with Dr Liz, who seems very nice. I liked her sense of humor. She addressed the major concerns that I had (question: what happens if there's an emergency? answer: we go to one of the hospitals that my insurance will cover, she stays with me the whole time). We also got to listen to the baby's heart beat! This is the first time that we've heard it. I saw it on the ultrasound, but that just showed the movement.

I have my last Kaiser appointment for a nuchal translucency ultrasound next week. Then, my new insurance will kick in Oct 1 and I'll start going to see Dr Liz.

B6 and more dreams

I think the Vitamin B6 might have helped. Yesterday was a pretty low-nausea day overall. I took my prenatal in the morning, followed by a B6 at about 1 and one at about 7. I'm going to try again today.... except that I may or may not have taken my vitamin this morning. I had it in my pocket, then it wasn't in my pocket anymore and I couldn't remember if I'd actually taken it. Stupid short term memory.

Last night, I didn't sleep well. I was up probably 5 times to pee. I'm not sure what kept waking me up, but it wasn't my favorite night's sleep. I did have a very lovely dream about whales and scuba diving. There were whales that had beached themselves on this rock. One large whale and several smaller whales. We were concerned about how to get them off, when all of a sudden the large whale jumped off the rock carrying the smaller whales on its back. I was suddenly in my scuba gear and dove into the water to look for something. There were all sorts of little brightly colored fish and tiny animals.

We're going camping today. We got off to something of a slow start. I had set my alarm for 7:30, but then just couldn't get up that early. I turned it off and we stayed in bed till 9, which was my target time for leaving. Now it's 10:15 and we still haven't left the house. Whoops.

Library Dream & Vit B6

Last night's dream involved searching through the library to find a book on something to do with paper crafts. I wanted it because I was going to use the pictures as patterns to put on baby onsies.

The midwife recommended extra doses of Vitamin B6 to combat morning sickness. I'm going to give that a try today. I looked at my prenatal vitamin and it has 104% of my daily B6, which could explain why I usually feel like I'm less sick after taking my vitamin. I'm going to count that as one dose, then take one this afternoon and one in the evening. I'll report back.

More baby dreams

Last night, I had a very complicated dream about two babies that I actually know: Sierra and Jordan. At this point, I can't remember what happened during most of the dream, but I remember at one point, we (me and J) packed both babies into a suitcase for storage. Then, the suitcase fell into the water and I had to jump in after it to rescue the babies.

It's alive!

The very nice midwife did an ultrasound and discovered that there's actually a baby in there!

 The head is towards the left.

 Head is now pointing right and down. The thing that looks like a tongue sticking out of the front is actually a hand.

Another picture with the head down and towards the right. If you look at the original picture, you can see fingers.

It was pretty exciting. It has a heartbeat that's like a little flutter somewhere in the upper middle portion of the body. It has limbs with the tiniest fingers on them, although it does appear to have 8 or so fingers on each hand. The midwife didn't seem concerned about that, so I'm guessing it's just an artifact of the ultrasound. It wiggled around.

Cutest parasite ever.

Dream

I had two dreams last night, but can only remember the first one.

I was with J somewhere that might have been outsider her house. We were both very pregnant. We knew that the babies were going to come on the 25th (I'm not sure what month, that was never specified). Jess went into labor and had her baby in about 3 minutes. The baby was black, which we knew was because the midwife who had been at the delivery was black. I went into labor and had two contractions, then it stopped. At that point, I noticed that there were two little dogs running around. One was really tiny and had long hair (it was some sort of tiny, teacup terrier). The second was white and somewhat larger, but still a very small dog. We caught them and noticed that they both had tags on their collars. I called the owners numbers from the tags, but one person said it wasn't their dog and the second person didn't answer. We put the dogs under a laundry basket on a quilt on the back lawn so that I could continue giving birth. We also put one of J's older children under the basket to keep the dogs company.

First Doctor's Appointment

This afternoon is my first baby-related doctors appointment. I'm a little nervous that the whole pregnancy thing is going to prove to be some sort of mistake or that things won't end up being ok. Morning sickness is supposed to be a good sign, and I've had some of that... but not too bad as compared to people I've talked to or read about online. I feel like there's a reasonably good chance that things could not work out. Like it's maybe 50/50 at this point. That would suck. Before I started this project, I had never considered the idea that even if a pregnancy doesn't work out, you still have to go through all the crappy parts like the tiredness and the morning sickness. You just don't end up with a baby at the end of it.

Fingers crossed for the Dr saying that everything looks fine.

Honeymoon

For our honeymoon, we went on a cruise to Alaska. I was a little concerned that sea sickness and morning sickness would exponentially worsen each other, but it didn't end up being too bad. We had one full day of fairly rough, bumpy sailing. However, I don't think I was any worse off than anyone else. My new assessment is that sea sickness and morning sickness come from entirely different causes and don't really affect each other (except when it comes to eating).

The cruise was awesome. I think I'll post about it on my other blog, though.

M did take some tummy pictures of me standing in front of various things we could see off of our balcony (glacier, scenery). He's trying to take one picture a day so that he can make them into some sort of animated tummy growing series. So far, we haven't managed every day, but I think we've got a good enough selection that his project will work.

I did have to watch what I ate on the cruise. My tastes seem to change with lightning speed. The evening that we spent in Juneau, I got really hungry and we didn't have time to go back on the ship for dinner. we bought crackers and salmon spread, which was fabulous. For dinner the next night (or possibly several nights later), I ordered some sort of white fish with a light sauce and then couldn't eat it. Too fishy. And that pretty much did in eating fish or other seafood for the rest of the trip.

I ended up eating way too much rich food. As a TMI moment here, it made me really constipated. This isn't a problem when I'm at home, but when I'm at home I eat a LOT more vegetables and fruit and whole grains. Those didn't make up a big part of my diet on the cruise. Hopefully things will get back to normal now that I'm home and starting to eat my regular diet again.

We bought the Tiny Squee an Alaska tshirt. It's very cute. We can take pictures of TS in the shirt and then show them to him/her later in life and say that he/she was in Alaska with us. I think it's nice that the whole family could come on the honeymoon.

It's (maybe) a boy!

I took the IntelliGender prediction test this morning. It claims we're having a boy. However, I took the test too early: it says on the website that it's not accurate until 10 weeks and I'm only at 8. It also was wrong for J. So I've decided to upgrade my original assessment of 50:50 to 60:40 in favor of a boy.

M's dream

"We were probably in the city; we were on some street. Could have been just me, I guess. Some guy came up and grabbed the baby and I didn't actually see him put the baby into the box, but then the baby was in the box. Then he was running away; not quite as quickly as I could catch. He turned a corner and wasn't there, but the box was there. There wasn't a baby in it, it was just weighted so it felt like a baby was in it. We should make sure that the gypsies don't steal our babies."

Baby Dreams

I dreamed that M and I were in bed and I rolled over and something came out from between my legs and I knew that I had miscarried and the baby was dead. I didn't want to look at it, so I had M take a picture of it with his cell phone. Then I decided I did want to look and I picked it up and held it. It was a very small, white baby. We held it and cried and petted it and it started to get warmer (it was cold from being dead). Then it was a squirrel. Once it was a squirrel, it was fine that he had been born early because squirrels don't require nearly as long as humans for gestation. He dried off as we petted him and opened his eyes. We called him Buttons, after Benjamin Franklin (the connection made perfect sense).

I was very protective of Buttons because he was my baby and he had almost died. We came home one day and there was a dog in the house and something else that could have hurt him (I can't remember what it was) and I was very stressed out until I found him and held him.

We also had a cage with several funny-looking mouse things. Buttons did not live in a cage because he was my baby.

Funny

M says to me tonight, as I've climbed into bed close to 10 after taking a nap this afternoon, "it's ok, you're sleeping for two."

Walking

Yesterday was a good day, tummy-wise. I'm not sure if it was the introduction of mint tea with ginger syrup or the fact that I took a good walk in the morning. I'm just finishing my tea and then I'm headed out for a walk. Hopefully today will be a good tummy day too.