Hitting things

Stuff other than nursing issues is happening with the baby. She's really getting into batting at things with her hands and she can grab at her ball now and catch it fairly regularly. She spending a lot more time interacting with her hanging toys by trying to hit at them. She's doing an awesome job.

Lactation Consultant

We went to see a lactation consultant yesterday (Melissa Cole at Luna Lactation). She was fabulous and I wish we'd gone to see her right after Sterling was born. Here's what we got out of the meeting:

She agrees with me that Sterling has a tongue and lip tie. These are tissues that are supposed to have disappeared during development, but never did. She's the first medical professional that I've seen who actually agrees with me. I've thought Sterling had these issues since shortly after she was born (after I figured out that those were things that could affect nursing). I was certain that she had a lip tie, which is pretty easy to see (below):

Here's Sterling's lip tie (it's hard to get a picture of it because she moves).

She thinks that Sterling's lip tie is probably between a class III and IV.

I also thought that she had a tongue tie due to the way the end of her tongue looks and the fact that she "clicks" when she nurses (which is apparently the sound that babies make when they break suction due to the tongue not cupping correctly). Dr Liz said her tongue frenulum was sort of tight, but didn't think it would make that much of a difference nursing. Maybe it doesn't, but maybe it does. I haven't been able to get a picture of this because it's pretty far back. We're going to go talk to an ENT doctor about this and hopefully get her tongue tie cut (which is apparently not as traumatic as it sounds for a baby).


Melissa helped me optimize the herbs and things that I'm taking to try to increase milk production. She made me up a custom tincture to take along with the things that I'm taking now.


She gave me a feeding tube thing to use as a supplemental nursing system at the breast. One end of the tiny little tube goes into a bottle and the other end gets slid into the corner of baby's mouth while she's nursing. The suction she creates sucks milk through the tube from the bottle. We had tried a "starter SNS" supplemental nurser when Sterling was about a week old (maybe less). It was sort of fiddly and hard to deal with. It leaked and had to be attached to something at the same level as baby's head so it drained at the right speed. It was a pain and we gave it up after trying a couple of times. This works much better.. or I'm not so overwhelmed by everything else and just seems to work better. I like this. It makes me feel like my breastfeeding is accomplishing something because she gets to nurse AND she gets enough milk. It's also good for strengthening her sucking muscles. 


Overall, it was a very positive experience. We were there for about 2.5 hours and I'm going to recommend her to anyone I encounter who's having trouble with breastfeeding.

Milk Storage

One of my milk donors and I were having a conversation about how long you could keep breast milk under various conditions. I came home and googled it and then she forwarded me this very helpful link from the Dr Sears website.

Based on this info, we decided that we're going to try non-frozen, refrigerated milk. Since she's very close by, I can drop by and pick milk up every couple of days. We have 8 days to use non-frozen milk, which should be fine. Sterling can drink as much as the donor can pump in a day. Non-frozen milk is healthier and has more immunological benefits, etc.

Wonder Weeks - Development

On the advice of one of my milk donors, I got a book called The Wonder Weeks. The premise of the book is that babies go through big periods of mental change at predictable times during their development. The first one is around 6 weeks, the second is around 8 weeks, the next is around 12 weeks.

The change around 8 weeks involves baby being able to recognize patterns in the world around him and in his body. As this change is taking place, baby gets cranky, cries a lot, and generally wants to be held ALL the time. The 8-week fussy period is apparently longer and more intense than the 6-week or the 12-week period.

I'm pretty sure we're going through one of these changes. This is probably the 8 week change, or (less likely) the 12 week change a little early. Sterling will be 10 weeks old on Friday. She's been unusually cranky, hasn't wanted to be set down very much (unless she's practicing her wiggling), and is way more high maintenance than she usually is. She also has been taking much more of an interest in what's going on around her.

Here's what she's probably doing developmentally. This is taken directly from the book, so I hope I'm not violating their copyright. Bolded items are things that I've observed her doing up until now.

BODY CONTROL - generally she seems to be very advanced in this category. She's been holding her head up fairly well for a while and she's been wiggling in a purposeful way on her mat for at least two weeks.

• holds head upright when very alert (she particularly does this when being carried in the wrap or when being burped)
• consciously turns head towards something interesting
• consciously rolls from side onto stomach
• consciously rolls from side onto back
• kicks legs and waves arms (she's an expert wiggler)
• kicks at plaything with jerking movements (her aim is getting better, too)
• allows herself to be pulled into a sitting position
• allows himself to be pulled into a standing position
• tries to lift head and body when lying facedown
• shows increased desire to sit
• is able to look left and right when lying on stomach
• makes faces

HAND CONTROL - I think this area is coming along right behind body control. When she wiggles, she's more adept at kicking at hanging toys than she is at batting them with her hands. However, she's getting much better at it with practice.

• swipes at toys
• attempts to grab objects within reach but does not succeed
• closes hand around objects within easy reach
• holds plaything and moves it jerkily up and down
• touches and feels objects while holding them

LOOKING AND SEEING - she likes to look at stuff, but I haven't observed most of these things. 

• discovers hands
• discovers feet
• discovers knees
• watches people moving or working
• is fascinated by children playing close by
• enjoys watching fast-moving images on TV
• watches pets eating or moving
• is fascinated by waving curtains
• discovers luminous object, such as a flickering candle (or lights)
• watches treetops outdoors and is particularly fascinated by movements such as rustling leaves (definitely - she was leaning way back in the wrap so she could look up at the trees when we went for a walk yesterday)
• looks at items on grocery store shelves
• looks at complex shapes and colors
• is fascinated by shiny things (she likes to look at herself in a mirror, I wonder if that's the same thing)
• enjoys watching people chewing food
• enjoys watching and listening to people talk
• watches facial gestures

LISTENING AND CHATTING - she's gotten very chatty recently. 

• enjoys listening to voices, singing, and high-pitched sounds
• makes short bursts of sound such as ah, uh, eh, mmm, and listens to self
• makes a series of sounds, mumbles, and gurgles as if telling a story
• repeats these sounds if encouraged
• sings along when you dance and sing with him
• chats to and smiles at cuddly toys
• consciously makes eh sounds to attract attention
• interrupts while others are talking

Babies apparently don't work on all of these things at once - they pick the things that are the most important to them. Based on this, I think she's working on gross motor skills, looking at people's faces, and talking to people. She hasn't discovered her hands yet, so she doesn't seem particularly interested in most of the tactile things. I started reading books to her every night and she listens intently, sometimes interjecting comments. She also looks at the pictures. She hasn't tried to reach out and grab the book at all yet. Hopefully she'll get over the fussy stage pretty soon. After the fussy stage is supposed to be a period of calm, happy baby time while she practices all her new skills.

Milk Report

Supplementing with donor milk instead of formula is going really well. Sterling hasn't had a problem with congestion since she started drinking mostly milk instead of mostly formula. We haven't had to suction her nose out at all, in fact I put away the Snotsucker.

This morning she was up to 10 lbs 14 oz, so obviously the milk is working out for her growth as well. I'm going to go pick up another 50 oz today.

Milk Donation

At this point, I think nursing is about as good as it's going to get, which is to say, not very good. During the past week, Sterling has had roughly 15 oz of supplementation per day. One day she only had 11 oz, two days she had 17. 

Just before we left for Granny's I decided that I wanted to look for milk donors. This was a big step for me... it involved sharing the fact that I don't make enough milk with people that I don't know. I know it's not my fault (as in something that I've done), but I still feel inadequate for not being able to nurse my baby. Deciding to look for milk donors involved the heartache of actually admitting to myself that I'm never going to make enough milk for her. And it involves admitting that same thing to other people; people that I don't know at all.

Before we left for Granny's, I emailed the mom's group that I'm a part of. I also emailed a pregnant friend of mine who I know made a lot of milk with her first child. I found the Human Milk 4 Human Babies facebook group and posted there. I posted on milkshare.com. I looked at Eats on Feets (also on facebook).

Within 24 hours of posting on HM4HM, two different women had contacted me offering to donate their milk. Since then, I've picked up milk from both of them and my freezer now has probably close to 100 oz of breast milk in it. Well, it had that much anyhow. Sterling has been drinking it for the past few days, so there's quite a bit less now. 

The generosity of these women is amazing. They're taking time out of their lives to pump milk for someone that they really don't know and don't care about. In doing so, they're providing something for my baby that most people can't. They're giving her a chance to experience all the health benefits that come from breast milk and not from formula. I'm extremely grateful, but at the same time it makes me feel a little bit sad every time I make her up a bottle filled with milk that's not mine.

Bed Time

All the books and websites I've read have said that you need to establish a consistent routine for bedtimes. That way, the tiny squee knows that it's time to go to sleep. I started my bedtime routine tonight.

I cooked dinner and actually got to eat some of it while it was warm. Then, Sterling wanted a bottle and ended up drinking 5 oz of milk. At about 8:30, we changed into the night-time diaper, a long-sleeved onesie, and a fleece sleep bag. We went into the bedroom and read two stories. She was mildly interested in the stories. She looked at some of the pictures. She did a little bit of crying and fussing because she was tired. After stories, I turned the lights out and we sang a couple of songs. Then I put her into her cosleeper. She lay there for a little while, then started crying, so I took her out. I nursed her a little bit, then tried again. She cried and I took her out. I nursed her a little bit more, laid her down, and left to go make a bowl of cereal. She cried before I got the cereal out. I picked her up and patted her for a minute, then laid her back down. She fell asleep, then woke back up and cried after a few minutes. I picked her up again and patted her and then put her down again. At this point, she's been asleep for 15 minutes. I'm watching her on our TinySqueecam.

Edited to add: She slept for about 30 minutes in her cosleeper. Then, she started waking up and moving about. I waited till she got her mad face, then took her in a binky. She happily sucked on it for a few minutes, but then that plan backfired when it fell out of her mouth and she started to cry. I picked her up and walked her around a little bit again, then put her in her swing. She's sleeping there now.